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Re: Hit in the FACE with CHANGE!

Subject: Re: Hit in the FACE with CHANGE!
by ReddEra on 2009/10/5 15:18:22

Quote:
~ChillyPlasma 16 hours 22 minutes ago I'm not a doctor, but let's assume that you have uni-polar disorder (depression) and aren't just really sad (though more women than men get major depression and you are around the most common age of onset). Depression is really difficult, you know that. But it is just as difficult for friends and family of a depressed person - they have to cope with the depressed person and nothing they can do will make their loved one better (imagine how that must make them feel). A depressed person in your life is incredibly draining and while there is support for people with depression there are no pills to help the friends of a sufferer. I know a lot of friends simply walk away in such a situation, 'cause it's a lot easier. But what do people do when they really care? They stay and get mad and try to get things changed... that's what your friend did, I would say she cares. Now from the sounds of it you're both acting like a couple of childish b*tches who need to be sent to bed without dinner. As you're not grown-up enough to do it yourself, you should find a neutral party with a cool head to bring you and your friend together and slap you both until you make nice! As for changing your thoughts, that is an important part of treatment. If you have depression you are not 'getting better', merely coming out of a low that you will experience again and again. Altering the way you think is a good defence to help mitigate future bouts of depression (but your doctor will take you through all that). -- I'm all about commitment in relationships. I once committed myself to a whole bucket of KFC... the next day it was gone. I was heart-broken, or possibly it was indigestion.


I wanted to show everyone what this person said.... here are my final thoughts on the subject and my reply to him.

Quote:
ReddEra - I really appreciate your opinion but I want to say that I am not clinically depressed. I know that through my Doctor, my family, friends, and myself. I also know that I was down because I had just lost my job and some things were not going well. While I see that it could be taxing on a friend for a clinically depressed person. I know that when I was down I used our time to distract and help me feel better. I was positive and up beat. When It was not I gave myself some space from everyone to figure things out and pick myself back up. Which I did, and as soon as I did things started going well again. What I really think happened is that we grew apart. She and I have very different views on Morals, religion and life in general. The reason I wanted to say something to my friends here is that I was shocked at how she took it, that she was so hurtful. She herself told me when we started as friends that she liked to hurt and manipulate people for fun but she hated that and was trying to fix it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I believe that people can change if they want to. Apparently not as much as I hoped. I know that this hurt her too and if the argument had stayed just between the two of us and she let it go civilly then I never would have written the Journal. Yet that is not what happened. I also only had the one conversation and tried to let it go. She is the one who started yelling out to others and coming to my house to leave an untrue note. She lied to all my other friends and turned them against me, for no reason. That I agree is childish. I myself am trying to just let her be and have her life. I want her to be happy because I did like her. But she put her face on me and turned all of her problems on me. As well as hypicritically doing the same things she hated, the things that I never did. My choice is to let it go, to grow from it and move on. I can not be friends with someone who does that, unintentionally or not. Please don't assume that the whole situation is in that Journal. I know that she thinks I lied to her. But I know that she is so clouded by her opinion that she will not here the truth. That is something anyone of any age can do. I do wish that she would here me out because I would like her to leave with a clear head. We are different people then we used to be when we started as friends and our core values, even our likes are not the same anymore. This is not a situation where we are bicering with each other and it can simply be figured out and put to bed. Please don't assume that you know a person just from a moment of frustration. I do not have depression, I was merely getting over a hard part of life. I use to to care about her but how she tried to destroy our group and my boyfriends group of friends is petty, childish and high school. As an adult I am going to give her space as she requested and I know that she won't here me. I can not forgive her for that betrayal. If she came to me in a year realizing it I will say that it is good that she grew, but as people we just won't get along anymore. If she thinks that even my compliments are annoying and angering when they are just compliments than we think differently. She will have other friends and so will I, I am a positive person, not a depressed person. I have had depressed friends & family members and know how hard it can be. I know that is not me. I also know that she was looking for someone to blame for any of her misfortunes, I hope she dose not do it to anyone else but I can't be that person. If all my family, boyfriend and friends did agree that I was affecting them then I would agree with you. But they know that the situation is the opposite. I am not an angel but I am not destructive or negative. A negative person would be offended or just take what you said. Just by being as civil and understanding that you do not know me and the whole situation, that I might have given that impression, It shows that I am not anything you said. It shows that I am mature, that I do understand her side and that I know that it is just best that we part and go our own ways. Thank you for your opinion. I do think it is important to look at an argument from another person's side and look inward for the faults that caused the situation. In this case I know that not being friends anymore is the appropriate action for the both of us. I know that all of the things she listed as my problems really are hers. There are some things that I agree with her about myself and I am working on them. That is all I can do, my best.


So thank you Skurge and thank you Darth Paul. I agree. This last thing is really all I had to say left on the subject. It is sad that there are people like that in the world but we do have to move on.
Life is great and we can't let them hurt us.
:)
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