| Re: Superman Returns (SPOILER ALERT!) |
Subject: Re: Superman Returns (SPOILER ALERT!)
by Thayne on 2006/7/7 8:49:30
In the interest of doing the little people a favor. I thought I'd help by providing the perfect excuses for NOT seeing any of these movies. If interested, please contact me by mastercard or paypal.  As always, it's my pleasure to be of service.
Catwoman - won't see it, refuse to see it, will die a horrible death in my own vomit if forced to see it. The interview with Halle that I saw was torture enough... "We're gonna call the character Selina Kyle, give her a whip, make her a jewel thief, rob bad clothing shops for a costume, but it's nothing like DC's Catwoman"
Batman movies then - Damn, that was a straight up Circus at 3am.
Batman movies now - It's all gone to hell since Tim Burton left.
Hulk - Saw it. Thought it was incredibly stupid to have him fight giant shitzu's and poodles. Not to mention the Hulk himself was so cgi-ish, they should've named the movie "Who framed the Green Roger Rabbit" I mean honestly, they should've just made the ENTIRE damn movie cgi.
DareDevil - I don't care what you say. It's physically impossible to do a backflip and land 10ft forward.
Elektra - Everybody's gothika/chinese and why doesn't that typhoid chick have a white face?
Fantastic Four - He was seriously gonna test a plant to learn about human dna? Dood, it's ok Einstein flunked a few classes too.
Dolf's Punisher - ........... I come in peace..... with a skull.......
Xmen 3, 2, 1 - For a movie that started out with problems. They are at least consistant in sticking to their bullsh!t.
The new Punisher - Hey, they killed John Travolta, those bastards! Or (in reference to punisher war journal) Dear Diary, today I'm gonna go kill somebody . And how come Mistique's mackin on Frankie?
Spiderman movies - Where's the nifty porn music when he's climbin the walls? And dammit, he's sposa have cartridges for webstuffs, not some genetically rearranged c^m shooters!
Ghost Rider - He only comes out at night? What happened to kickin ass in the name of Vengance?
WW - Just like Bruce Lee wasn't Chinese enough for Kung Fu. The only acceptable option is an American chick playing the part of a greek woman. And give her back her star panties, NOW!!!
Superman movies - Christopher Reeves did a passable tribute to George Reeves. Oh and by the way, I'd pick Jack Black over Margo Kidder for Lois, anyday. I mean seriously, she's straight wacked in the head!.....Gene Hackman wasn't a maniacal genius. He was a retard version of Lex. I want ruthlessness. So I vote we cast Julie Benz (Darla from Angel) as Lex next time!
Superman movie now - I have yet to see it, but the ones who hate it seem to give me this "They better get everything, right down to the last snot string from Jimmy Olsen's nutsack PERFECT, or I'm demanding my money back" kind of vibe.
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