i should have paid closer attention to this thread. I didn't realize there were new pages added until I went to the books section and read the story again.here are a few of my observations and critiques...
1. LOVE THE NEW COVER! [major kudos]
2. I'm glad you chose to finish out this issue because I was really disappointed at the previous ending..although in my opinion i don't feel it was necessary to add the "to be continued' caption at the end..in my opinion that's what you say at the end of a 'cliffhanger' when the reader is on the edge of his/her seat awaiting the next episode. I didn't get that sense here in fact i thought the story had a very happy ending. [minor kudos]
3. Again while i like the fact that you supply very detailed background information..visual aid to go along with those tidbits would draw the reader in more. example. on page 4. the dialogue on the entire page was about Lunari culture and yet all you showed visually was scenes of space cruisers.[minor nit]
4. nice to see more action!
And while i am looking forward to the next episode. I don't think the HM comic viewer is favorable to your level of detailed texture work. While I love the full page view the grid bothers me and the darkened pages as well.

1: Thanks
2: It was actually your critique that spurned me to finish the chapter...THE "To be Continued" was intended to imply there was more of this story to come (And I'm pleased to announce there is)
3: That was actually page 5 where I wrote about the Lunari culture. The whole thing was just a narrative about the planet in the background but I see your point.
4: The grids and page colors were simply a matter of personal taste. I like the black background it made the whole thing feel more updated less traditional. As for the detailed work...it's my style is all I can say...I want as realistic a look as I can get and sometimes I have to break with a lot of traditions to get the results I want (Such as not making huge color separations between subject and background) some of it comes from my military experience, and some of it comes from the character's preferences.

I will say this...there is a reason for everything in the writing and production of this story, and in the end if you know my characters I will be pleased. This whole story is just a way of introducing many of my characters (and their personalities) simultaneously. Moreover this is a just a jumping off point for the RPG Universe in which these characters live. in short...consider this a reasonably well written (even if by an amateur) attempt at a commercial. Like GI Joe or Transformers plugged toys...I'm plugging an RPG. Feedback such as yours is a big help in getting this right so watch for the changes you inspire. Thanks as always for your feedback