Bender: Bite my shiney metal ass.

Fry: It doesn't look that shiney.

Bender: Shineyer than yours, meat-bag.


( is shineyer even a word? good lord. )

All I wanna do is drink beer for breakfast
All I wanna eat are those barbeque chips

Jake: How often does the train go by?
Elwood: So often that you won't even notice it.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious.

You can't have an air raid without bombs!

Cardinal Roark: What the hell do you know...
Marv: I know it's pretty damn weird to eat people.

All they have to do is to eat three or four children and there'd be the most appalling publicity.

Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?

[Jake falls to his knees]
Jake: Oh, please don't kill us!
Please, please don't kill us!
You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault...

Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.

Jake: No I didn't. Honest...
I ran out of gas.
I, I had a flat tire.
I didn't have enough money for cab fare.
My tux didn't come back from the cleaners.
An old friend came in from out of town.
Someone stole my car!
There was an earthquake!
A terrible flood!
Locusts!

IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!

oh jake.. honey ..

"Listen. Do you smell something?"

Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Ray: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath-of-God type stuff.
Venkman: Exactly.
Ray: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling.
Egon: Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston: The dead rising from the grave.
Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria.

"Mr. Horse, you just jumped from a 12 story building and broke both of your legs! How do you feel?"

"I don't like it, No Sir. I don't like it one bit"

"I have seen $hit that will turn you white."

1:Does that come standard?

2: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.

Tank Girl: This comet came crashing into the earth. BAM! Total devastation. No celebrities, no cable TV, *no water*! It hasn't rained in 11 years. Now, 20 people gotta squeeze into the same bathtub. So it ain't all bad.

SNAKE
(glaring)
"The name's Plissken!"

Alex Rogan: One gunstar? Against the whole armada? It'll be a slaughter!
Grig: That's the spirit!
Alex Rogan: No, MY slaughter!

Now famous ?WKRP in Cincinnati? episode

Les Nessman:-
?It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way.
It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving!
... From ... W ... K ... R... P!! No parachutes yet.
Can't be skydivers...
I can't tell just yet what they are, but -
Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!!
Johnny, can you get this?
Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes!
One just went through the windshield of a parked car!
Oh, the humanity!
The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement!
Not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this!?




Mr.Carlson:-
"I swear, as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"






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