Got lot's to talk about... I will go from good to bad to good. I like to wrap the bad in a sandwich of good.
1.)wow, I didn't notice that I had 107 watchers and 7,696 views on DA!!! That's really cool.
2.)Started college a month ago. It's been interesting. Just got a very good chunk of grant money. So that makes me happy.
3.)Saw a half a minute of Muse in concert and then saw most of U2 in DC. They were great....
now how shit hit the fan...
4.)It's a very long story so I won't go into all the details or name names. A close friend of mine and I had some tension going on after she returned from being away for some time. I have been going through some serious depression, but am getting out of it. During that time I was very contemplative and quite (in my head all the time.) But as things were getting better I wanted to be positive and look at the wonderful things that were happening. I thought I'd give my friend some space because she seemed irritated around me. She was told by her boyfriend that Muse was a Birthday gift from him, which it wasn't, my boyfriends mother bought the tickets for her and her son and was kind enough to buy more for everyone else to go see. Long story short we hit traffic and this kind friend that I thought was a positive person made it all about her, and moped the whole concert. As of which I ignored her and thought "WOW, U2. This is great." The next day she broadsided me when she came over to my house stating that her life was perfect and that I am a pessimistic destructive person who is the only bad thing in her life. Now, a few moments before she came over I was having a bit of a relapse in my depression but was trying to cheer myself up. As we all have those moments. In my self hate I didn't really fight for myself, I mostly agreed. Not knowing how to respond or what to say, I didn't want to loose her as a friend. after she left I went in to my mother and brother to tell them all the things I was going to change. Including the way I think! They looked at me like a crazy person. My mother got red in the face and said "A person who wants you to change everything you are is not a friend. If she is so perfect then she'll be fine with out you in her life" I kept thinking "Oh, My God. I can't believe how manipulated I just was." They supported me, so I went to talk to my boyfriend. He was furious. "I can't believe you didn't stand up for yourself! You are none of the things she said. At the concert you were the only one who tried to make the best of what you have." He then with out telling me sent her a text that said what she did was wrong and that I was a good friend.
Now this is what makes it complicated. Her boyfriend is my boyfriends best friend.
So when he sent that text she thought that I had told him lies and told him to send it. No, I told him the truth as I tell everyone the truth. I am known for telling the truth so hard that I'm painfully blunt. but she thinks I'm a lair...lol that is completely wrong. She thinks she knows me and then says that! Anyway, she tells her boyfriend that mine cussed her out and called her a bitch. Which he did not. She then came to my house like a fifteen year old and gave my mother a note that sated that I was destructive and deceptive! No, I just realized the truth and told it. Maybe if she got out of her delusional fairytale she would realize that. So she got them into a fight and they almost broke up as friends. They are like brothers! I kept thinking why would she do this?! Who could be so malicious and destructive! I hope that my boyfriend and his best friends relationship can heal. I don't know if I can trust him knowing that she and him spread lies about me to our other friends. (which by the way she accused me of, and is a total lie) But I know I can't be a friend with someone who likes to hurt others. Not after what I wen through for her, all I did. That I was the only one supporting her when she was alone and away. I know that I don't need people like her in my life. It is sad and I am shocked and grieving but life must go on. I hope she grows up so that no one else does all that I did for her just to have their hearts broken.
There is much more to go into but I feel I've exhausted the subject. Now that, that is done. I will get back to the good news.
5.) So I'm learning and getting tips from David Campiti at Glass House Graphics. He is a wonderful man, his wife Jinky is just fantastic too. Anyway I really hope this can turn into something. Even if it does not I will have gained so many wonderful tips that can help my in an illustrators carrier. So to show him that he only has to tell me once and that I can do what he says. I am starting a really cool line work cover that I'm going to color. I am almost done with the line.
6.) Just got done with the TR commission a bit ago. Waiting for the check to come in. I will be doing his other commission after the cover.
7.) Going to Florida again this October. Getting ready for midterms during the week of the 22nd. Then getting home to help my BF have a Halloween party.
So lot's of exciting things and as for the big blow up that is very high school. I have felt a change coming in who I am and my life. the best thing is to focus on the positive. As I often say "you have to make a mess to clean a mess" I really feel after everything rights itself life will be better than before. I've told my BF that until then we need to focus on us, planning trips and getting ready for our fifth year anniversary.
Much love everyone!!! Thanks for listening and you know I love to hear what you think. So If you have something to say about this please speak up. :)
I'll say it short and sweet. "He who angers you controls you" I know from experience; just move on and let it go. She's not loosing sleep over what happened. if'n She wants to act like that, let her go and don't loose any sleep over it either. Life's to short for Bull Shit. If she is just using you, she isn't really your friend, you are her convenience.
Something very similar happened not once, but twice actually to my wife on two seperate occasions with two different "Friends." Needless to say, she isn't friends with those people anymore, although she still cares that they will one day get over themselves and stop using and hurting others like they hurt her. It's sad that there are people like that in this world, but at least like my wife, you too realized with the help of those around you who really do care for you that they aren't worth your time and you won't be dragged down into their misery. Good for you, and it seems that you have some great positive things going on to overshadow the bad stuff. Good luck in all of your endeavors.
Posted on: 5 10 09 07:08 am
_________________
Art is what happens when you learn to dream. Go ahead. Dream a little. - LRH, Atlantis Squarepantis.
~ChillyPlasma 16 hours 22 minutes ago I'm not a doctor, but let's assume that you have uni-polar disorder (depression) and aren't just really sad (though more women than men get major depression and you are around the most common age of onset). Depression is really difficult, you know that. But it is just as difficult for friends and family of a depressed person - they have to cope with the depressed person and nothing they can do will make their loved one better (imagine how that must make them feel). A depressed person in your life is incredibly draining and while there is support for people with depression there are no pills to help the friends of a sufferer. I know a lot of friends simply walk away in such a situation, 'cause it's a lot easier. But what do people do when they really care? They stay and get mad and try to get things changed... that's what your friend did, I would say she cares. Now from the sounds of it you're both acting like a couple of childish b*tches who need to be sent to bed without dinner. As you're not grown-up enough to do it yourself, you should find a neutral party with a cool head to bring you and your friend together and slap you both until you make nice! As for changing your thoughts, that is an important part of treatment. If you have depression you are not 'getting better', merely coming out of a low that you will experience again and again. Altering the way you think is a good defence to help mitigate future bouts of depression (but your doctor will take you through all that). -- I'm all about commitment in relationships. I once committed myself to a whole bucket of KFC... the next day it was gone. I was heart-broken, or possibly it was indigestion.
I wanted to show everyone what this person said.... here are my final thoughts on the subject and my reply to him.
Quote:
ReddEra - I really appreciate your opinion but I want to say that I am not clinically depressed. I know that through my Doctor, my family, friends, and myself. I also know that I was down because I had just lost my job and some things were not going well. While I see that it could be taxing on a friend for a clinically depressed person. I know that when I was down I used our time to distract and help me feel better. I was positive and up beat. When It was not I gave myself some space from everyone to figure things out and pick myself back up. Which I did, and as soon as I did things started going well again. What I really think happened is that we grew apart. She and I have very different views on Morals, religion and life in general. The reason I wanted to say something to my friends here is that I was shocked at how she took it, that she was so hurtful. She herself told me when we started as friends that she liked to hurt and manipulate people for fun but she hated that and was trying to fix it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt because I believe that people can change if they want to. Apparently not as much as I hoped. I know that this hurt her too and if the argument had stayed just between the two of us and she let it go civilly then I never would have written the Journal. Yet that is not what happened. I also only had the one conversation and tried to let it go. She is the one who started yelling out to others and coming to my house to leave an untrue note. She lied to all my other friends and turned them against me, for no reason. That I agree is childish. I myself am trying to just let her be and have her life. I want her to be happy because I did like her. But she put her face on me and turned all of her problems on me. As well as hypicritically doing the same things she hated, the things that I never did. My choice is to let it go, to grow from it and move on. I can not be friends with someone who does that, unintentionally or not. Please don't assume that the whole situation is in that Journal. I know that she thinks I lied to her. But I know that she is so clouded by her opinion that she will not here the truth. That is something anyone of any age can do. I do wish that she would here me out because I would like her to leave with a clear head. We are different people then we used to be when we started as friends and our core values, even our likes are not the same anymore. This is not a situation where we are bicering with each other and it can simply be figured out and put to bed. Please don't assume that you know a person just from a moment of frustration. I do not have depression, I was merely getting over a hard part of life. I use to to care about her but how she tried to destroy our group and my boyfriends group of friends is petty, childish and high school. As an adult I am going to give her space as she requested and I know that she won't here me. I can not forgive her for that betrayal. If she came to me in a year realizing it I will say that it is good that she grew, but as people we just won't get along anymore. If she thinks that even my compliments are annoying and angering when they are just compliments than we think differently. She will have other friends and so will I, I am a positive person, not a depressed person. I have had depressed friends & family members and know how hard it can be. I know that is not me. I also know that she was looking for someone to blame for any of her misfortunes, I hope she dose not do it to anyone else but I can't be that person. If all my family, boyfriend and friends did agree that I was affecting them then I would agree with you. But they know that the situation is the opposite. I am not an angel but I am not destructive or negative. A negative person would be offended or just take what you said. Just by being as civil and understanding that you do not know me and the whole situation, that I might have given that impression, It shows that I am not anything you said. It shows that I am mature, that I do understand her side and that I know that it is just best that we part and go our own ways. Thank you for your opinion. I do think it is important to look at an argument from another person's side and look inward for the faults that caused the situation. In this case I know that not being friends anymore is the appropriate action for the both of us. I know that all of the things she listed as my problems really are hers. There are some things that I agree with her about myself and I am working on them. That is all I can do, my best.
So thank you Skurge and thank you Darth Paul. I agree. This last thing is really all I had to say left on the subject. It is sad that there are people like that in the world but we do have to move on. Life is great and we can't let them hurt us. :)
You need to settle this like two guys would. Punch her in the face... tell her to shut her cake hole... pick her up... then go buy her a beer. Easy as pie.
Posted on: 7 10 09 11:16 am
_________________
I'm not drunk...... I'm Scottish! Yeah OK, I am Drunk...
Jr, you got it all wrong. You buy her the beer first, but drink it, then when she hits you first you beat her ass and then call the cops and plead self defense because she hit you first. ANd be sure to have your boyfriend tape it convieniently for evidence.
skurge wrote: Jr, you got it all wrong. You buy her the beer first, but drink it, then when she hits you first you beat her ass and then call the cops and plead self defense because she hit you first. ANd be sure to have your boyfriend tape it convieniently for evidence.
you have to go with what makes you happy in life. If you stay with what makes you angry or miserable, you'll never find that happiness. I found that out for myself and wound up getting a divorce. Sadly, it had to happen and I do miss her, but that's only thinking of the good times and not the bad....and there was a shyt ton of bad. But, I wasn't happy, so I had to fix it. Now, I'm happy.
Posted on: 9 10 09 05:19 pm
_________________
Broaden your horizons, eat interesting people.
