"Waooh....stand up & cheer."

Fly, yes. Land, no.

My brother and I used to say that drownin' in beer was like heaven, eh? Now he's not here, and I've got two soakers... this isn't heaven, this sucks.

Dade?

Yeah, ma?

What are you doing?

I'm taking over a TV network.

Finish up, honey, and get to sleep.

You'll shoot yer eye out!

"Here lies one from the distant stars,
But this soil is not alien to Him;
For in death,
He belongs to the Universe"
--C. Simak

"I see." said the blind man to the deaf person.

no offense intended to anyone,it's just something my Dad used to say.

Quote:

Actually, I believe the correct phrase is, " 'I see', said the blind man to the deaf mute, who picked up his hammer and saw."

"Razors pain you
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful...
You might as well live!"
--D. Parker

(does that leave out explosive jackets?)

Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!

I am El Nino! All other tropical storms must bow before El Nino! Yo soy El Nino! For those of you who don't "habla Espanol", El Nino is Spanish for.. The Nino! To any of you hurricanes who are listening, step on up! Because nobody can take El Nino! I challenge any of you punk-ass tropical storms to a no-holds barred cage match! Any time! Any coast! I swear to God all Mighty it is time to pay the piper, 'cause El Nino's coming for ya! And it ain't gonna be pretty!
-- Chris Farley

You couldn't be more self-absorbed if your were the daughter of Narcissus and Madonna looking at a disco ball through the eyes of a fly.
-- Internet user "Rintrah" in response to a Cornell Daily Sun opinion article

You know the saying, "Human see, human do."

Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks: "Empire".
Randal Graves: Blasphemy!
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.

P: THE PILLS THAT I'M POPING GO POPPETY POP...
IN MY HEAD OF INSANITY I SEE FURRY RED DOTS
IT BOTHERS ME NOT FOR I'M AS HIGH AS A KITE
LEGALLY SO, BECAUSE IT'S WHAT THE DOCTOR PRESCRIBES.
PROZAC IS CANDY WHEN MIXED WITH A PIE
CODINE IS FUN WHEN PLACED IN YOUR EYE
NYQUIL IS BETTER WHEN YOU ALL WANT TO DRIVE
BUT USING HEAVY EQUIPMENT IS WAY OUT OF LINE
I SOMETIMES GET DROWSY MIXING ADVIL AND SPLEEN
MORPHINE IS FINE EXCEPT FOR THE DREAMS
I ONCE SAW A LAMB DANCING ON GLASS
AND THE ELVIS SIGHTINGS ARE A PAIN IN THE ASS
HE STOLE MY FRIED CHICKEN WITHOUT ANY A CARE...
BUT THE JOKE WAS ON ME....'CAUSE IT NEVER WAS THERE.
SO AS I DOZE OFF IN MY PRESCRIPTION BOUGHT DREAM.
I WANT MY FREE HEALTH CARE SO I CAN GET HIGH AS I PLEASE.

WHERE AM I?

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

Never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint.

"It doesn't matter whether you win or loose...all that matters is how many of the poor, sorry bastards you send in ahead of you...THAT'S all that really matters."
--Theodore F. Wolf

"As I walk thorugh the valley of death I fear no one, for I am the meanest mother ****** in the valley!"


"Don't be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonofabitch die for his. "

I need a weapon.

Nice quote...

Hey... I got mine too and they screwed up my order and sent me the soundtrack also...


Fight the Flood!

Who's your daddy and what does he do - halo grunt doing ahnold impressions