| Sitting my husband’s office I only want to be close to him in some small way. I have tried to be closer to him but somehow I always feel as though his heart is in some distant place far away from me. My heart almost breaks as I sit behind his desk and gaze at the two pictures placed at his right. The dead woman who crushed him and whose life was stolen from him. A woman of considerable power and conviction or so I am told. A warrior like myself and a mighty hero whose speed was something of legend. I have met Panterra, he and my husband speak fondly of Sarah, the Cheetah. Her armor hung in our quarters for years until my dear husband gave it to her successor with tear filled eyes. The other picture… Aini who has been nothing but kind to my sisters and I since the day we arrived. She has done so much as both mentor and guide, helping us to truly understand our Dear Rusco, and while I was fully prepared to share my husband’s affections with my sisters I had no clue that Aini had already placed a claim on his heart. She would never say it though she truly wants him to be happy with us. Still I can sense his feelings toward her are strong. She is an exquisite in her form and her mannerisms. Everything she does is so flawless and her kindness is completely genuine. So why do hate these women who have never done me a single wrong so much? Because here in his office where his stresses are the greatest, theirs are the only images that bring him comfort. I want him to love me the way he loves them, to think of me like he does them. I can’t confront the dead, and Aini is so sweet how could I possibly be angry with her? Her powers let her be all of the things he desires in a woman. My jealousy has pushed me to a point where I have altered my appearance to more closely resemble her. Her features, here face, even her hair. But how do I compete with what she can be? My powers are greater than hers, as a dragon I can take any form I choose, I could read his innermost thoughts and desires and be that, but she doesn’t have to. She just becomes whatever his heart desires no matter what that is. I look upon her and I seethe with jealousy and anger, I want him to myself and I begin to envy even his relationship with my dear sister Lote’. I just want him to love me, I know that if I am courageous enough, confident enough… Even powerful enough, then surely he will begin to see me as does Sarah and Aini even Danielle. I refuse to compete with memories, he and I are immortal beings bound by destiny so why do I keep thinking of him the way mortals do? Why does my every thought center around possessing his heart like some grand treasure hoard? Am I changing? Becoming more dragon than woman? If so what happens to us? I can never surrender to these feelings but I know in my heart I must do whatever it takes to make him happy, to make him see me the way he sees them. |
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2019/1/15 3:07
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