Enter He-Man Obsidian 2018/12/28 18:00 1945 1
I make my way out of Skeletor's spike pit back up to the throne room, a task simplified by the fact that NOBODY is at their post Everyone is focused entirely on He-Man. There's unconscious bodies everywhere He-Man is no slouch when it comes to kicking ass but overall their injuries are minor because apparently he's holding back. I'm running at a full clip when out of nowhere a massive cyborg with blue skin leaps in front of a doorway to bar my passage. I can't stop fast enough and so the two of us collide tumbling into the adjacent room. Faster than the metal jawed cyborg can think I do a quick Kip Up and we're facing each other. We face off sword in hand, and he's smiling wide because he has obvious physical advantages... or so he thinks. The sounds of fighting echo throughout Snake Mountain as He-Man makes his way onward while this metal headed goon and I stare each other down. I activate my energy blade and the look on his face tells me everything I need to know. He's not certain he can beat me. He points his cybernetic appendage at me and with the equipped weapon fires a blast at my head. Just for the look on his face I let it hit me. Instantly I am rewarded with a dumbfounded expression.
"I sincerely hope for your sake Cyborg that that wasn't your best move, because of it was..."
My words are cut off as he fires at the ceiling above me in a vain attempt to bury me alive under the ensuing rubble.
"How's that chrome dome?"
I rise from beneath the ton of rubble as if it were a pile of Styrofoam, and again the look on his face is one of utter confusion.
"Chrome Dome? Seriously?"
He leaps at me with a new appendage attached, one designed for close combat. As he swings I remove is entire cybernetic arm with a single swing.
"Go ahead do something else stupid I dare you!"
My words do not fall on deaf ears as he scrambles to his feet and practically breaks his own neck panicking to get away from me.
I deactivate my sword and head further up as fast as I can. As I near the throne room of the fortress I decide to slow things down and take to the shadows.
Upon entering the room I am greeted by the sight of He-Man and Orko face to face with Skeletor. In the distance I hear what sounds like a Lion's roar and I'm not sure I wanna be here anymore. Turning my attention back to the magic Sword wielding barbarian and this sawed-off mage I am impressed by the sight. The people of this world are positively massively muscled. In He-Man's case I'm certain it's an aspect of his magical nature like the magically empowered heroes from my reality, but Skeletor and his goons? I'm not even sure how he eats let alone works out. I digress, as I ponder these idiosyncrasies, the two big men square off.
"Enough He-Man, drop your sword and surrender or else."
"I don't think so Bonehead, Castle Grayskull will never be yours, not so long as I draw a breath."
"Is that so you musclebound clod? Then behold Faker! Destroy He-Man!!!"
What happens next is a mind blower, what appears to be a clone of the intrepid hero steps out from the shadows, identical in every way except his blue-tinted skin.
"What the?" He-Man's words echo my thoughts. "Nice try Skeletor but not quite."
As the two musclebound men engage in battle I'm unsure how Skeletor has enough power to match He-Man yet somehow fails to conquer Grayskull, let alone the world. It doesn't matter really the fact that this is all going on isn't my primary concern and as Skeletor attempts to make his getaway I leap into action. I pounce from above and using my infinitium blade I cut his miserable staff cleanly in two.
"You're next you skull faced piece of.."
"I surrender!"
"What?"
"I said I surrender, to you hero. Take me away."
"Oh is that what you think is going on here? You think I'm a hero?" I raise my sword level with his head inches away from his bony face. "You're barking up the wrong tree motherfucker. You left the hero behind you. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Obsidian mask assassin and mercenary for hire. I am so much worse than that guy you're trying to kill back there and you know what? That reminds me, you tried to fucking KILL ME!"
"What-what're you talking about?" He says terrified as he realizes I will probably kill him for real. Then his tone changes his bluff was called and it makes him show his true intent. "In that case, Die interloper!!!"
A flash of magical energy flies form his hand, magic that is absorbed harmlessly by my armor.
"No this cannot be? How is this even possible?"
"I'd tell you Skeletor, but then I'd have to...Oh yeah I'm gonna do that anyway, now where's She-Ra?" My shouts are interrupted by another magical blast from Evil-Lynn and I have finally had enough. Instantly my gun appears in my left hand and I put a round right between her pretty little eyes. In an instant the the fighting stops and everyone stands frozen in place horrified by this sudden act of brutal finality.
"Y-You-killed-her."
Skeletor's words echo off the walls and the utter silence is unnerving, eerie. I break it without remorse.
"I did, and you're next. Now answer me!"
In a flash He-Man's shield screams across the room slamming hard into my gun knocking it out of my hand and across the room. In the blink of an eye he's made the distance between him and me vanish and he grabs me by my helmet pinning me to a nearby wall.
"What have you done!?!?" His voice is full of rage. I'm not entirely sure why he's so pissed off until I see Skeletor holding Evil-Lynn's limp body tightly while sobbing uncontrollably.
"Are you guys serious? Let go of me before this becomes a thing."
"You killed her!" HE-Man says in disbelief yet again.
"Like she just tried to do to me? Like he tried to do to me...TWICE! Yeah, you're damned right I did. I never killed anyone who didn't try to kill me first though."
"We DO NOT KILL OUR FOES ON ETERNIA!!!" He shouts it like it's some sort of motto I'm suppose to know... Okay time to bring everyone up to speed.
"Okay you Whack-Jobs listen up. I have no clue why your gods brought me here but I am absolutely gonna tell you this: You get two warnings then blood flows it is that simple. Now I am here to find the Princess of Power or her whereabouts and as of now I think I'm gonna make a shining example out of anyone who makes that job more difficult than it has to be...Including you hero boy!!!"
Just then Orko in a fit of rage does something stupid, he attempts to cast a spell. The magic is again absorbed harmlessly by my armor and now it's my rage that's up.
"Little legless wonder, have you lost your Gods damned mind? Don't you know I can kill you?"
He man jumps to the rescue again pinning me to a wall. My computer has rated his strength as on Par with Infinity-Man so there's no way I can survive a physical confrontation with him, but he doesn't know what flashing is so I summon my pistol and put two heavy concussion rounds into his chest. They don't do any damage but they knock the big man across the room and onto his ass. I reach into my belt and pull out an Anti-Matter grenade and start making threats like a common terrorist.
"That is the last time I let you put your hands on me and live, you got it? Next time I kill you dead and Eternia mourns it's greatest hero. Now before you get any ideas, you see this thing in my hand? This is an anti-matter grenade. Antimatter annihilates Matter, you and everything in this entire universe is made of matter. So when this goes off the only thing left in this area and for miles in every direction...will be me. I am done fucking around with your rules and your planet. All I want is for Skull Face to answer my question once and for all. Now for the last time...Where is She-Ra?"
"Why are you searching for She-Ra?" He-Man asks as if he was oblivious to my previous inquiries.
"Finding her Numbnuts, and returning her safely to Castle Grayskull is my current contract."
"Who hired you?"
"Your sorceress if you must know."
"The sorceress hired YOU?" He asks in disbelief.
"I come highly recommended. If anyone can find her it's me, and I will find her no matter how many corpses I have to leave in my wake."
"Is killing your answer to everything?"
"Get off your soap box Hero, I don't kill indiscriminately. Only when necessary."
"So killing Evil-Lynn was necessary?"
"First of all the first part of her name is FUCKING EVIL you blonde headed bimbo!!! Secondly do you see how the situation changed? people are paying attention and taking me seriously now. NECESSARY!!!"
Just then Skeletor looks up with a tear covered face (He can cry? How do you do that without eyes) and says. Etheria, she's on Etheria, Hordak is holding her prisoner in his fortress. Go find her, and I hope he kills you ...Mercenary! In a puff of smoke he vanishes along with the corpse of Evil-Lynn. He-Man's doppelganger, an android of impressive power but not enough to defeat the hero, is the only villain remaining. I Summon Onyx and head for the window. Just then He-Man places his hand on my shoulder. I look down and his hand and he quickly removes it.
"Look, if you searching for my sis- Er She-Ra she's a good friend of mine and I'd like to come with you if you don't mind?"
"Fine Hero, but we're playing by my rules. Don't worry I don't harm innocents or kill indiscriminately. But if it becomes necessary I am very good at it though honestly I'd prefer stealth whenever possible."
"Okay your rules, but I don't kill...EVER."
"Of course you don't...Hero" |
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pijon |
Posted: 2019/1/7 17:28 Updated: 2019/1/7 17:28 |
Moderator Joined: 2006/7/18 From: United States Posts: 6363 |
Re: Enter He-Man Really, really enjoying these! A great crossover with terrific illustrations and a very fun story too!
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