As a big fan of the ERB Mars books, this hit me as particularly funny. Great job! Loved the scenario behind it.
Is Rathis an Earthman who stared at Mars long enough to find himself mysteriously transported there? Or is he a native? If an Earthman, he should still be strong enough to at least hold his own with even the most evil of office machinery.
Regardless... Rathis may have his hands full with the Republicans, since they tend to be the only ones with balls for a fight...